I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
