Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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