have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
