How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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