I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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