I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
