Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
