whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize