My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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