Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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