I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
