HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize