escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
