he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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