You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
