Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
