For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
