Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
