its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
