we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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