At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
