We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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