i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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