I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
