kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize