Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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