Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
