What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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