Dual....:-)
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So much rum. So many feels.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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