If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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