Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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