ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
