Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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