Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
