Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
