all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
