I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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