how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
