you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
