I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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