Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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