I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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