God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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