dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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