She said her name was "party"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
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Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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