nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
