I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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