Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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