dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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