i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I need to calm my uterus...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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