Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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