Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
