btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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