You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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