i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
