Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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