I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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