He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bring money and cleavage
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Someone signed my nipple.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize