im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
