i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
