Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i think i just lost a toe
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
