Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
