Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
