Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
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