I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
