Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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