I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
