So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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