Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
