I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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