Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize