he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have aggressive nipples.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
