apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
