I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
