U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
