Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
