CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
