Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
