so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
