Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just cropdusted the office
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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