I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
