at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
