It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
